USELESS NITWIT
by Jiyugami-chan
Summary: Series of funny stuff in the games. Some shipping. Every 2 reviews gets a new chapter.
1. Chapter 1

This is short. I don't own Pokemon. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Feel free to flame. The flames are funny to read. But don't swear. Or my Azumarill (Mickey) from Sapphire will Surf you to death.

* * *

May's POV

"HEALTHY PARTY is the hippest thing in hip! Hey, you don't look familiar. You must be from far away! So, wherever you live, you still must know about HEALTHY PARTY, right?"

I looked at the smiling brat's face. What an idiot. What the crap is this 'HEALTHY PARTY' garbage? I had never heard of it.

I didn't ask for a diet-pill obsessed brat asking me if I knew what the flip 'HEALTHY PARTY' is. I came for a gym badge.

"No."

"You...don't? Then what is hip?"

I smiled.

"Well, last time I visited home, the hip thing was...uh..."

I paused.

"Oh right. Where I come from, 'USELESS NITWIT' is what's hip!"

He smiled.

"Abra, tell everybody about what's hip!"

The Abra closed its eyes, waited, then opened its squinty eyes again and nodded.

I laughed and ran into a building. The people inside...

"I own USELESS NITWIT merchandise!"

...were already obsessed.

Idiots.

* * *

I based this off of the kid in Dewford who asks for a trendy phrase in RSE. The first trendy phrase I received (Sapphire) was 'HEALTHY PARTY' which I instantly turned into 'USELESS NITWIT'. Later, I tried changing 'USELESS' into 'LOVEY-DOVEY' but it didn't work.

I have also done some funny things with Gabby and Ty, like 'GIMME' and 'NITWIT'.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, I decided to turn this into a series. I don't own Pokemon.

* * *

May's POV

"Yay! It's a ship!"

What. The. Crap.

I come out here to explore, and on an abandoned ship full of dead people, I meet a kid who looks at dead bodies, and then says,

"Yay! It's a ship!"

Idiot.

Then that troll with the dumb hat, Brendan, walks by and winks in this creepy way that tells me that he has something dirty in his head.

Then the kid goes,

"Yay! It's a ship!"

I think I get it now.

* * *

That last part did not happen in the book. If you think the mention of dirty things in Brendan's head means I should change the rating, I don't care.


	3. Chapter 3

**THANK YOU FOR REVIEWS! I can finally write again! I don't own Pokémon.**

May's POV

_What's up with that troll, Brendan?_

_Why's he standing in front of the department store?_

"Hey! Stupid Hat boy! Get away from the door! People want to get in!"

"Sorry, I'm running an errand for my dad."

"Buying dolls to play with, to make up for your lack of a social life?"

"I'm not buying any dolls. I value my reputation."

"What reputation? Your hat is better known than you are."

"Like a pampered Johto kid would know anything about that. I'm known all around Hoenn."

"Yeah right. You have a level five Mudkip, and then you're world famous."

"Hey!"

"Hehehe. Sucker."

"What's your problem?"

"You."

"…."

"You fell right into that."

"Heh. You tick me off, May."

"Ditto."

"Battle?"

"Prepare to lose, Dumb Hat boy."

**Done! Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, Sorry I didn't post this in the morning! I don't own Pokémon!**

May's POV

_I wonder if dad is up for a rematch._

"Hmm… Match calls…huh... where's his profile?"

I scroll down through all the listings. I type in the text 'LEADER'.

It doesn't show his profile. Maybe the troll Brendan got a hold of my PokéNav, and deleted some stuff. Jerk.

Then I return to the menu, and squint at the screen, and see the text for a profile by the name of 'DAD NORMAN'

What.

What?

WHAT?!

Then, out of curiosity, I type in 'BRENDAN'.

One result pops out.

It reads: 'HOT AMAZING NEIGHBOR BRENDAN'

I'm going to KILL him.

**Heh. That's not how it reads in the game. Nor does the PokéNav have a search feature. But !**


	5. Chapter 5

**You still haven't reached 8, but I don't care! I don't own Pokémon. Flames appreciated.**

**PS ORBSHIPPING HINT**

May's POV

The battle with Kyogre was my toughest, and I ended up catching her-yes, Kyogre's a girl-in a nest ball.

Now I just had to nickname her.

"Mia?"

No.

"Sue?"

No.

"Elizabeth the Eighty-seventh Aquarius Mistress of the great force of the sea?"

Kyogre looked at me funny. It's too long anyways, pity.

"What about _For Groudon_?"

She looks angry now.

Oh boy, this is going to be more fun than trolling the troll with the hat. (AN: try saying that 3 times fast!)

"Groudon's GF?"

She was really ticked now.

"Okay, what about 'Groudon's _Mate_?"

She was really mad now.

"Ha-ha…kidding. What about Ky?"

She calms down then nods.

"Hah! Kidding again! Groudon's Mate it is!"

Now she's charging up a Hyper Beam.

I better run.

**Haha! First shipping besides HoennShipping! RnR!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back! Wow! So many reviews! Thanks!**

**I don't own- ah, heck! You get the gist of it! I don't own Pokémon! That applies to the ENTIRE STORY!**

**Thank you.**

**Brendan's POV**

I love the battle tower. It's weird, listening to the trainer's battle cries, then repeating them to May. It ticks her off, and her face gets all red. Priceless.

So I was ever amused when I battled some guy at the tower who said….

"I SHALL LICK YOUR HOO-HAH!"

I laughed so hard that they kicked me out.

Just think about the hidden meaning behind it.

**May's POV**

So, I was walking around Slateport city, and guess who appeared? The troll with the hat was, of course.

He had hacked into my PokéNav, so I want to crush him in battle.

"Hey, dumb hat boy!"

He turned towards me.

"Oh, hi May. I SHALL LICK YOUR HOO-HAH!"

"WHAT?"

"I SHALL LICK YOUR HOO-HAH!"

I contemplate the meaning of that.

"YOUR'E REALLY GETTING IT NOW!"

**AN: There! Nailed! If you thought it should be T, I don't care.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey. I'm back.**

May's POV

I can't believe I let Kyogre go down that easy.

What I really don't believe is what the nurse at the center said when I rushed

"Hi, would you like to rest your Pokémon up?"

Uh, no, I come into a Pokémon center with my in-critical-condition giant pet whale water goddess running out of air in her Pokéball because it's my hobby, you twit.

"Yes."

"Let me see your Pokémon for a second."

I handed Kyogre over.

"ALL your Pokémon, please."

"No. My Blaziken is fine, my Castform is fine, my Wobbufet couldn't be happier, Linoone is just jolly, and Metagross is okay. Just heal Kyogre."

"No."

"Then I'll heal them myself, thanks a lot." I yanked beck the Pokéball.

Where to buy a max revive?

**AN: that's that! Sorry it's a little late.**


End file.
